Category: The Helpers

What about the Kids?

by pearlsofpauline, posted in Children and COVID-19, COVID-19, Giving, Kids and COVID-19, Parents and COVID-19, The Helpers

are you one of the lucky ones?

I don’t know about you, but I’m one of the lucky ones. I’ve been able to escape the summer heat in Phoenix and have been living in a bit of a bubble during this time of COVID-19. I miss my kids and grandkids terribly, and I can’t wait to be with my friends again. But life has been full and interesting because Gene and I have been able to get away and have adventures.

On the other hand, families with kids at home are having an extremely hard time right now. And I can’t stop worrying about our children, all our children. COVID-19 looms like a huge specter, casting a gloomy shadow over our U.S. families.

If they can be home with their kids during the day, most parents are juggling childcare or their kids’ virtual school with work. They may feel guilty because, although they don’t have to put themselves in harm’s way like so many of our “essential workers,” they miss having a few minutes to themselves each day, even just the time they used to have in the car driving to and from work. Being with your kids 24 x 7 is not what God intended. That’s why we have grandparents and aunties. But because of COVID-19, many grandparents and aunties aren’t able, because of age, health issues, or distance, to come and save the day.

If kids are school-age, virtual learning is a crapshoot. Most kids have been given notebooks, but their teachers have never done this. Some schools are limiting the number of classes kids take each day, but if they are in two-hour blocks, that’s expecting a lot. After all, the average adult can only concentrate for 45 minutes. Why should an 11-year-old be any different? And those kids used to home schooling aren’t able to do the outside activities that normally break up the day, like children’s museums, playgrounds, bands, and sports teams. It’s boring to stay home all the time.

School-age kids, especially teens, want and need to be with their friends. That’s not easy right now, or even possible for some. Their parents must find that balance between giving them some freedom and holding them accountable. Kids may be uncooperative about virtual classes; they may be bored; they may be depressed. And in Arizona, it’s too hot most of the day to go outside, so they’re stuck in the house.

COVID-19 is an equal opportunity bummer.

For those parents who can’t stay home, for whom school is childcare, what are they supposed to do? In Arizona, our governor has mandated that schools find a way to take care of children whose parents are essential workers. We’ll see how that goes. A friend who serves on a local high school district board says their board is concerned that absenteeism is going to be at an all-time high as schools reopen and high schoolers stay home with their younger siblings.

I am a grandmother of 10, and I am grateful that my grandchildren are safe and healthy and have everything they need. Everything except a normal social life. But the absence of that one thing is causing frustration and unhappiness for them and their parents. And if the families who have all the basics are stressed and overwhelmed, imagine the challenges COVID-19 is posing for single parents, those without work, those with mental health and addiction issues, and those without the money to provide the basics.  

If we’re among the lucky ones, we must find a way to help. We may not be able to provide childcare, but surely there are other things we can do.

How about if we look at the kids we know and think of ways to give their parents some support. Are our grandchildren doing ok? How about the children of friends? The neighbor kids? The kids that usually go to our church, synagogue, mosque, or temple?

If we have a swimming pool, how about inviting parents to bring their kids swimming? We can unlock the gate and wave from the house or patio. A change of scene can help the monotony. Or we could take them a craft kit with an extra pair of scissors, fabric, needles and thread; or one with a crochet needle, the YouTube URL for instructions, and yarn; or one with an extra hammer, some wood glue, nails, paint, paintbrush and the pre-cut wood to build a birdhouse. My grandson made a flute out of bamboo last spring. All the directions he needed were on YouTube.  

If we love to cook, we could drop off a recipe with the needed ingredients, something the kids can make for the family. We could buy used DVDs that are kid-appropriate and drop them off for those days when parents are completely bereft of energy and would love to put on a movie for the kids to watch.

And how about kids we don’t know, the ones whose parents rely on nonprofit organizations for extra food, clothes, and toys? Now is a great time to go through our things with these kids in mind. It’s a win-win!

If we can afford it, we could go to Walmart or Target and pick up all kinds of goodies and drop them off at organizations we trust. They can get them to the right families.

When I return home the end of the month, I am challenging myself to do something for kids. And I challenge you to do the same. I may sound like Pollyanna, but it’s like the story of the young woman picking up starfish one-by-one and throwing them back into the sea: “It makes a difference to that one.”

“It makes a difference to that one.”

Please join me in making a difference and come back here to my blog and share what you’ve done.

Contrast

by pearlsofpauline, posted in C.S. Lewis, Coronavirus pandemic, J. R. R. Tolkien, Mr. Rogers, The Helpers, The Value of Contrast

C.S. LEWIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE AUTHORS

C.S. Lewis is one of my favorite authors. I became a fan the summer after 5th grade, when I read The Chronicles of Narnia, and wept when I finished the last one – not so much because of the sadness of the tale, but that it was over.

Turns out, Lewis was close friends with J. R. R. Tolkien. In fact, Tolkien led Lewis back to Anglicanism after years of his having been an atheist.

Lewis was to become a great theologian. In my senior year of high school I read his book, Mere Christianity, and the concept of contrast hit home: the idea that without rain, we wouldn’t appreciate sunshine; without pain, we wouldn’t feel comfort; without cruelty, we wouldn’t see kindness; without terror, we wouldn’t know peace; without evil, we wouldn’t recognize good. Contrast is instrumental to our appreciating what we have because if we aren’t threatened with its loss, we take it for granted.

And as we stay home during this horrendous pandemic, I do think it helps to appreciate, feel, see, know, and recognize all the positives. Where we see hunger, ill-health, poverty, suffering, injustice, and untimely death, we also see amazing heroism. “Look for the helpers,” as Mr. Rogers said.

I see them all around us — in my neighbors, who are checking in on those who are alone; in the young man who shopped for us with such care and delivered our groceries with a respectful bow; in my friend Rita, who is sewing masks for service members and their families; in clergy conducting online services from home; in doctors opening their offices to ill patients; in our daughter Katie, who is a NICU nurse, and goes dutifully to her 12-hour shifts at the hospital, leaving behind her husband and three small children; in our newscasters broadcasting from home; in our restaurant workers, who cook our “to go” orders and serve us with a smile; to the grocery store workers, who diligently stock the shelves, sanitize the carts, and man the check-out counters; to volunteers who are calling to check on the vulnerable who are home alone.

I see “the helpers” with immigrant children who are separated from their parents. And I see them in the prisons, with those who feel hopeless.

As they go about their business, ‘the helpers” unconsciously model the good in this situation: the opportunity to be our best selves. Without realizing it, they are challenging us to join their ranks, to do what we can. And we all can do something.

Yes, life is filled with contrasts. And when this damned COVID-19 is over, and we have witnessed the great good in humanity, perhaps we will be better people, and the world will be a better place.